Come back to me
by Bakarangerelin
Summary: Since Sweden left Denmark for a life with Finland he has never been able to move on with his life. How will he try to get his beloved back? DenSu yaoi with some small hints of DenNor. Rated M for later chapters!
1. Prolouge

**Prolouge**

Cold... Everything was so cold since Sweden and Finland left him. The big castle was even bigger than before and it was all too quite. Sure, he did have Norway and Iceland there but there was no-one who tried to flee or fight with him. Norway could yell at him sometimes for drinking and messing the place up sometimes but it was not like when Sweden was there.

He couldn't even remember when it all began to turn for the worse. Everything had been perfect. The union he had dreamt after. Why did Sweden hate him so much? All Denmark had wanted was for them to stick together and be strong. The whole union idea was for Swedens' sake, Denmark desired for them to be close. But now it was the opposite.

Denmark could hear the sound of foot-steps filling the room. The dane eyed Norway with lazy eyes. The smaller nation was not happy with what he saw. Denmark was drunk, really drunk "Stupid brother!" he muttered and hit him lightly on the top of Denmarks' head "Why are you drinking again?" he was sure he had hid everything for him already.

Denmark just shrugged "Felt like it… stop whining already" his head was hurting, his eyes were hurting and mostly his heart. Why was that damn finish brat so much better than him? And now his back hurt as Norway kicked him from behind "Get it together brother Mathias" he mumbled and embraced him from behind. It always felt nice when he did that, he needed that loving warmth.

He pulled Norway to sit in his lap "Stay with me Aleks..." he whispered and kissed his forehead. At first the smaller one tried to fight it, but soon he relaxed and let the bigger one have his way.

"You will never leave me, right? You will always stay with me?" Mathias asked and caressed his back carefully. He wasn't angry at the moment, just sad and lonely. Norway always worked as a great distraction to keep Denmark from thinking of Berwald since the beer didn't help anymore.

Aleks sighed and pinched his cheek hard "Of course. Stop mumbling stupid crap or I really will, you idiot" Norway hated how miserable his brother was. He wanted to be able to take care of him. He always wished he could. But deep inside he knew. He knew only the presence of Berwald could make the dane relax fully.

They sat there for hours. Denmark was clinging onto Norways' small frame as he slowly turned sober. Before he fell asleep he could hear Norways' soft voice "He will return someday… don't worry about it stupid" and how Mathias wished for it to be true as he was sleeping soundly.

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><p>Phew! This is my first fanfic and it's quite a short chapter. I didn't wanna make the prolouge way to long since I really wanna start on the real chapters ^^' hope you will forgive me!<p>

In the enxt chapter there will be some time-skipping, and for sure some meetings and drama around Denmark and Sweden. Please review! Feedback is always welcome.


	2. Chapter 1

As the years went by the hate slowly began to fade. The bad feelings around Denmark and Sweden were still there and they argued a lot. But Denmark could live with it. As long as he could see Berwald once in a while that was enough. He wanted so much more but he knew that he was only allowed to watch Sweden and not to touch him. If he could annoy the other so much that he would only look at him for a brief moment, then Mathias would live to annoy him. That was decided from himself a long time ago. And deep inside he wanted to just drag Berwald home to the dane and make him his and only his. Too fuck him until he couldn't live without it anymore. Everything he had failed to accomplish back then in the past.

Sweden and Finland had gotten the child Peter. It was considered a gift from Sweden to Finland. Together they were the typical happy and perfect family that everyone was dreaming about. Norway had left Denmark recently with Iceland. He had also wanted to be independent and stand on his own two feet. Also Aleks didn't like the idea to leave Iceland alone with Mathias so his little brother had to tag along. That meant that Denmark was all alone, the only thing he truly hated.

Well, it was true that he still had everyone as a big family. He did often hang out with Aleks and his little brother Emil as often as he could, so that was good at least. And then at the holidays the whole Nordic family gathered, often at Berwalds' and Tinos' place to celebrate. Mathias often tried to annoy Berwald to get his attention. Sadly enough it often resulted in big fights and that someone would blame him for destroying the family meet-up. Even thought he never meant it like that.

Today it was midsummer and considered to be a big Swedish holiday. Tino had invited everybody to come. The Danish man had of course agreed to visit them. He would never miss a chance to hang out with them and especially Sweden. Even if it was a bit annoying that Finland was there.

After a long time of figuring out the outfit for the day he picked a red shirt, a black tie and black pants. He was pleased with what he had chosen. He took the cab over, considering that midsummer was a celebration with a lot of alcohol. And he was more than willingly to drink. He would never turn down one. It was his chance to maybe get the Swedish man to finally let loose and maybe get a little closer.

When he arrived everyone was already there, waiting for him. He paid the taxi-driver and hurried up the stairs "Hi there~!" he smiled bright towards them and especially Berwald. Mathias hoped he would smile back. But Sweden didn't do that. Instead he looked down at his "wife". Much to Denmarks sadness. Why couldn't he look at him instead? He was the guest for crying out loud!

Everyone else greeted him and Peter ran past his parents and hanged onto Mathias. Denmark lifted him up and smiled towards him "Are you a monkey or what?" he threw him up. Peter just laughed shrugged his head "No!" he screamed as Mathias threw him once more. Berwald grunted at this and pulled Peter away from Mathias. Mathias snorted at that "Party pooper…" mumbled he and stomped inside, pulling Aleks and Emil with him. He hated how cold Berwald was. He knew he could be kind of cute and nice if he just wanted to. But now it seemed like it never occurred anymore. Still… the danish man couldn't feel the eyes that pierced trough his back.

The hours went by and slowly everyone began to feel the power of the alcohol. Norway, Iceland, Finland and Sealand were outside, chatting and playing. Berwald on the other hand was doing the dishes since he couldn't stand it being left to the day after. Mathias stumbled out from the toilet and walked out to the swede "Hey, what are you doing~?" he sang out and hugged him from behind. Sweden on the other hand shrugged him of "Let go…" he muttered and stared at him with cold eyes. He wasn't amused at all while Denmark was "Don't be so cold Berwald…" he kept on saying and pulled him away from the dishes "Why… why won't you even look at me anymore?" his voice was showing a little bit of sadness

Berwald turned around and looked his way "Better now?" he asked annoyed and crossed his arms. He wasn't up for any of Mathias games at the moment. He was sick and tired of them and he just wished that his family could have some peace. For once he wanted to be able to relax. He had asked Tino to not invite Mathias, but obliviously he hadn't listened closely enough.

Mathias shook his head "No... nonono..! Not like that!" he was beginning to get a tad bit frustrated thanks to the alcohol and due to the fact that Sweden was like an iceberg. He tugged on Swedens sleeve "you're so cold… you're always so cold towards me Berwald" Mathias pushed him towards a wall when Berwald pulled back his hand. He wouldn't allow this anymore.

Berwald sighed "I don't see why it would matter? You're annoying, back off…" he tried to get away but failed as Mathias did a great job pinning him to the wall. Suddenly, without a warning a pair of lips crashed onto Berwalds. Oh, how Mathias had missed to taste of those lips. At the moment he didn't care that the other had turned stiff and didn't kiss back. Just this was enough right now. After all those years alone it felt better. Reality hit him only when Berwald bit him and he could feel the taste of blood. He pulled away quickly.

He met an angry pair of eyes when he faced him again and was hit to the ground. He grunted as he landed and looked up at Berwald. Berwald stared down on him "Get out of my home!" he grawled and walked away.

"Berwald!" he got up and walked after him "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to… I just…" Berwald shut the bathroom door after himself and locked, leaving the dane outside "Berwald! Let me in!" he screamed and began to bang on the door. Berwald on the other hand didn't answer, he just wished for him to leave already. It was dangerous for both of them if he opened the door for the shorter male. Old memories of the past flooded thru his mind.

Finally Mathias gave up and left. He hated himself for what he had done. Now, Berwald would never look at him. Not a chance in the whole world. He was doomed.

On the way out he met Aleks "Where have you been brother?" Denmark just shook his head "I have to go… I'm sorry" he kissed Norway on the forehead and hurried away. Ignoring Tinos questioning about why he was leaving already and the voice of Peter; asking him to play. But he didn't have the time, he had to flee. Flee from the mess he had created.


	3. Chapter 2

He was sitting at home. All alone while watching the rain pour down outside. He felt so lucky that he wasn't standing in the middle of it, even if it wouldn't really matter right now. His heart was far cloudier than it was on the other side of the window. And he was sure that if this was a movie, it would have been a big cloud over him. And he would have been even more wet than that rain could ever manage. He must be looking so depressing right now; it felt a little better knowing Aleks wasn't there. He would for sure start to yell at him if he saw this scene. Mathias didn't want to worry him anymore, it was enough already. He knew that deep inside Aleks cared for him deeply and that sometimes he was even jealous at how Mathias was obsessed with Berwald. If the dane could only have something to drink and some music to listen to he would be alright. Then he wouldn't know how lonely he really felt.

It was a week since it all happened. He had never been able to stop thinking about it. The episode from midsummer was on replay during days and nights. It was wearing him out slowly even if he would never admit it. That wasn't manly at all! He could take it, he could get used to it at least. The only thing that he couldn't get used to was those eyes. Berwalds' cold, disappointing and scolding eyes. It was those that kept him awake at night, giving him dark rings under his eyes. Mathias hair was also a mess and he hadn't showered or changed clothes since then

"Leave me alone!" he shouted when the eyes was back in his mind. Mathias didn't understand why it was haunting him. And why was he so obsessed with Sweden? He had many other around him that he could fall in love with if he wanted to. He had even tried back in the past. But he could never throw away his feelings for the swede.

Berwald had already turned him down. He had already lost the hope of Mathias. And the dane was (maybe?) ready to accept. But still he couldn't be left alone. His own mind was hunting him with his mistake. Even all those mistake from such a long time ago was there. He was whispering pleads that he should be left alone and that he was sorry. He didn't even realize that someone had walked inside and was standing behind him.

The man behind him was just staring at the mess. When he was that Mathias was about to throw a bottle at the wall he had enough. He was quickly behind him and put one hand over his eyes and the other tried to stop him from throwing "Don't… Don't do it" he mumbled gently and carefully. He leaned his head onto Mathias shoulder. Mathias instantly stopped and didn't make a sound at first. The tired but gently voice spoke again "That's good… Now put the bottle away brother" he put pressure on the arm so Denmark could lower it.

The dane did as he was told and swallowed hard before he dared to speak out loud "Emil…?" he whispered and tried to turn around to look at the other but the boy held his head firmly to object the idea of doing so "Yes… it's me" he answered "So calm down" the boy looked around, he couldn't really take in what he saw. Such a stench and mess! How could Mathias have lived like this? It was a wonder to the small nation. Alcohol was everywhere; on the floor, in bootles, on the walls, on Mathias and even the smell was hanging into the air.

Mathias nodded slightly. He didn't want to ignore Emils' request "Why... are you here?" he didn't want to show this side to Emil. Aleks had always hid it from him since he thought Emil was too young to witness a drunk and miserable man. Denmark was agreeing with Norway on that and he had promised he would never allow Iceland to see him like this. But now that promise was already broken.

Emil sighed. Wasn't that oblivious? "Because I was worried when you left like that at the party… Aleks is also worried" he hugged him from behind with one arm. Never letting him see "Is this what you have been doing?" he was not impressed of it at all. Denmark nodded "Yeah…" there was no use denying it right? "Does Aleks know you are here?" Emil let go of him and made it possible for Mathias to turn around "No, he doesn't know. And I don't think he should either"

Mathias agreed with Emil "Good, and you shouldn't know either" he ruffled the smaller nations hair and smiled toward him "Seeing a drunk and defeated man isn't good for you" he tried to joke it off. Emil sounded way too serious for Mathias own preference. Emil snapped him on the forehead "Don't be stupid now. That doesn't matter when the ones around you are worried" he nearly yelled. Denmark couldn't hold in a laugh and hugged him "You really do sound like a more honest version of your brother" he felt a little better having Iceland as company right now. This would be their secret.

Emil snorted lightly at that comment and then closed his eyes "Even so… you are really stupid. What happened at the party? Berwald wasn't himself during the rest of the day since you left" he was worried but also curious since everyone always tried to hide so much from him. And Mathias wasn't keen on letting Emil in on this information now either "We just argued… like usual, it's nothing really" he tried to look his normal cheery self in front of Emil so he would sound convincing. This only caused him to get even more irritated "Why won't you tell me everything? I'm not a kid anymore and I can keep a secret!"

Mathias couldn't deny that. He wasn't all that small anymore. And maybe it was good to talk about it? He would rather talk with Aleks, but Emil was a nice person to "Of course you're not a kid anymore" he leaned a little bit back "I kissed Berwald…" that was a beginning at least. He didn't want to see Emils' reaction so he looked away to avoid it. If you thought about it: Denmark was actually chasing an already taken man. That was pathetic indeed.

Emil just continued to look at the other one. Now he kind of understood the situation Mathias was in "And I guess he got pretty mad at you?" he asked to get some more information out of him. Mathias nodded and told him everything that had happened. Every detail, suddenly he couldn't hold it back. He needed someone to talk to and Emil was a good listener, never interfering. When he was finishing telling the story he turned towards the listener again "Do you think he will never want to see me again after that?" he already knew the answer, but he hadn't lost hope. Emil shrugged "That's up to him really…" he could instantly see the man lose hope so he had to add "… but you two have been thru worse, just wait and relax for a while okay?"

Mathias nodded and tried to laugh it off "Of course he will! No one can resist my charm" he got up on his feet and stumbled some steps. Emil also got up and got a hold of the dane "Sure… but I really think you should go to bed now" on the way to the bedroom he got some protests from Denmark but Iceland didn't listen to a single word. The drunkard had to get some rest "I won't tell Aleks if you just listen to me and goes to bed" he closed the bedroom door after he finally had gotten Denmark into the bed.

Iceland would have a long day ahead of himself. He simply couldn't leave all this trash that was lying around in the whole house. He had to clean it up and maybe cook a meal for Denmark before he left? Denmark on the other hand was, for the first time in a week: sleeping soundly in his room.

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><p>Berwald on the other hand was outside, trying to fix a broken chair, just like he had promised Finland. It was great to be outside, working, because then he wouldn't need to think about the incident from a week ago. It was exactly a week ago since that stupid dane hade kissed him and been blabbering about some foolish nonsense that Berwald didn't get at all. Why had he done that? He really began to suspect that Mathias really wanted to screw up his life.<p>

He never had the thought that Mathias could actually like him. He had almost forgotten those happy times with the dane. Those happy times before the union, when the power did get over Mathias head. Everything Denmark did towards Sweden was always some kind of bad joke. It wasn't in his world that Mathias could love him. Berwald had Tino, nothing else was possible right now or ever.

He hadn't told Tino about what had happened. He didn't need to know, no one needed. This was just like a dream and everything Berwald wanted was that it should be just like it often was with dreams: that you forget them. Why was that suddenly so hard?

He had been so passive these past days. He hadn't played with Peter more than he had to and he avoided sex with Tino. He often blamed it all on that he was to tired right at the moment. But that was only half the truth. He wasn't really all that to tired since he had no problem with fixing the house everyday like usual. No, not like usual… He spent even more time doing that than before. Just to get a chance to clear his thoughts.

It was a mystery to him. He had been able to move on after even worse jokes from Mathias side. But this time wouldn't his mind let him move on. He even had some really stupid flashbacks of other kisses with him. Those warm and soft lips felt so good. They had always felt good. Even at hard times when things between them weren't so good… even now. Berwald suddenly quit the repairing and put one of his fingers over his lips. 'Why did you do it?' he wondered, hoping that Mathias could answer him.

He leaned back further from the work-table. He wasn't in the mood to do any repairs right now. His thoughts were muddy and he had lost his nearly perfect focus when he did stuff. Why couldn't Mathias leave him alone even now? Nothing worked, the thoughts always came back way to quick.

Mathias had always been handsome. Even if Berwald would never admit it he did still love Mathias deep inside. Even if he would never say it out loud. He had felt so back then and he even did now. Maybe that was why he hated it then Mathias tried to get to close to him. Berwald needed distance between the two of them or else he might get those hidden feelings back. And he could never do that! He had Tino and that was all he needed. And even if his feelings would change would the fact that they had Peter together, a separation wasn't possible.

But Berwald could dream. He could ream of those gentle, but at the same time rough hands that used to touch him so much. And those lips that had kissed him so much and telling him that he loved him. Mathias had the power to really affect Berwald if he only tried. Just his voice was enough to make the swede feel wonderful. That's why they needed to stay apart. It could endanger Berwalds family and life. It wasn't worth it.

No… the only thing he could really do was to dream. Dream about Denmark. He could feel it, the feeling of Mathias gently touching his body. Stroking his hands further down over the upper part of Berwalds body, slowly, teasing him. Berwald closed his eyes, to take his mind and body back to the past. His own hands played the part of Mathias.

"Berwald…" he could feel Mathias breath on the back of his neck as the dane leaned forward and licked the skin "You're always mine right?" he had that possessive and teasing voice. It was one of his favorites. Berwald couldn't help but to shudder harsh at this. Even if the hands was outside of his clothing it was that good. Slowly his shirt button came undone and Mathias began to explore the body even more, stroking Swedens nipples with his fingertips. Denmark even pinched them "I… I'm not… a woman stupid" muttered Berwald towards Mathias. Even if he knew that he was all alone in the small shed.

Suddenly, the hand where somewhere else, down below. Berwald or Mathias opened the taller males' pants and began to caress the tender piece of flesh "I would never see you as a woman, Su… You're far sexier" whispered the shorter of them and nipped the skin of Berwalds neck. Someone began to massage the stiff length. Stiffled groans filled the small space. Pictures of him and Mathias flooded his mind. He wanted him, he needed and desired him so much in reality. He even wished to be kidnap if only Mathias could touch him again like this.

He was so close right now. The tension was building up. If only Mathias could be here for real now. Berwald wanted kisses, more touching and words. His dreams alone weren't really enough to satisfy him. But for now, that was all he had. And all he dared to take in. He arched back and tried to muffle a loud moan as he came in what he sadly realized was his own hands. He stared at it for a minute or two after he had settled down.

What was he really doing? After feeling so good he only felt empty and disgusted with himself. This could be considered as cheating on Tino couldn't it? He had thought about another man while jerking of… And it was the man he hated to!

Suddenly he didn't feel good at all. He felt empty and lost. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was the man who lived the perfect life everyone dreamed about. And now he himself dreamt of less than that. The whole thought felt stupid. And this idea of fixing a chair didn't feel appealing anymore. His heart wasn't into it anymore. Instead he got up and made sure he looked decent before he went inside. Peter was busy playing some game in his room and Tino was away to do some errand so no one noticed the Swedish man sneak into his and Tinos room to get some well needed sleep after his beautiful dream that only continued when he closed his blue eyes and he was finally where he wanted to be.

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><p>Finally I updated! I'm so sorry I haven't done this earlier but it has been so much with work and stuff. But here you go~<p> 


	4. Chapter 3

Loud sounds of someone knocking, or rather banging on the door filled the house. It almost sounded like it had done when Thor had used his big hammer back in the days. Mathias couldn't do anything else but to wake up and realize it was around lunchtime. He had slept since Emil had helped him to his bed. And speaking of Emil… the boy was nowhere to be seen 'He must have left when I fell asleep' he guessed. Slowly he forced himself out of the bed since the annoying knocking didn't cease to exist. With heavy footsteps thru the apartment did Mathias come to realize that Emil also had cleaned the house. It was in perfect shape and you could never have guessed that a drunk dane had gone loose for a whole week.

What he met when he opened the door was another surprise. Outside was a pretty pissed off Aleks standing. He had his arms crossed and a glare like nothing else. Mathias stumbled back a few step "A-Aleks..? Why are you here?" Aleks didn't wait to get an welcome and just walked inside and closed the door as an mark that he was going to stay "I heard you have been drunk for a week, you idiot" he hit him and pretty hard "And I can smell that you haven't showered either. Are you a baby or what?"

All Mathias could do was to look away in shame "Did Emil tell you?" he felt horrible. He had told himself that he would not worry Aleks again. And here he was, standing right in front of him. Aleks was right, at this moment he couldn't help but to feel like a big baby "I forced it out of him… It doesn't matter right?" Norway pulled Denmark along with a firm grip onto his t-shirt. Denmark tried to protest as he was forced to follow. Aleks looked around "I can guess that he has cleaned the whole place?"

It came no sound from Mathias mouth so Aleks had to turn around and stare into his eyes to get him into some sort of action "Uhm… yeah" he was always so pathetic with Aleksander when he was angry. But not always, sometimes when he was in the mood would he joke and annoy his best friend instead. But all the confusing facts with Berwald didn't make him into a good mood. Oh… how he wanted another beer right now.

Aleksander made Mathias sit down by the kitchen table as he re-heated the food that Emil had made for the tallest of the three "And you haven't even been eating this…" he muttered. As Mathias was served with the meal he immediately began to eat. The food was really good and well made. Maybe it wasn't weird if he guessed that Aleks had been his teacher "It's really good!" he claimed and smiled brightly towards Norway. The other couldn't help but to relax his tense face as he received the bright and stupid smile, he couldn't believe how he could always smile like this but he still liked it. This was the Mathias he knew and not some sort of wreck.

When the lunch was over, that had been awfully quite. It was kind of nice that no one talked actually. Mathias didn't need to think about anything and could just relax with his best friend. And Aleks enjoyed this to, since he saw that Mathias had his appetite back, and he also looked happier. Maybe the fact that Emil had been here yesterday had made the dane better faster. Even if Aleks didn't approve that his little brother should see a drunk and irresponsibility man. He was way too young for that! But Aleks would let it slide this time. He had made Mathias feel better, that was a fact.

Together they did the dishes and Aleks forced Mathias to take a long, decent shower. Now everything was like it should be. Mathias layed down onto the sofa and waved Aleks to come closer. The Norway male did as he was told, only to realize that as soon he was at the perfect distance he would end up sitting in Mathias lap.

Mathias laughed "You should see your face right now" he gently caressed Aleksanders' cheek gently. Even thought the norweigan man was putting on a sour expression in front of Mathias he still couldn't foul the dane who had knew him for such a long time. Even the slightest and almost invisible blush was crystal clear to his vision. And he sure enjoyed teasing him and bring that sort of expressions out of him "My cute little Aleks" he then whispered.

Aleks instantly looked the other way and slapped his hand away "Don't sexual harass me as soon as you get the chance, diskhead…" he muttered and crossed his arms. He often told himself that he shouldn't let Denmark affect him like this. But it sure was hard not to. And he really didn't expect the words that he spoke next:

"I'm so lonely Aleks…" he mumbled and leaned his forehead onto Aleks. His eyes was gazing right thru the smaller of the too. He would never let a chance like this slip right thru his fingers, that just wasn't his style at all "Comfort me" he begged and kept stroking his cheek with his fingertips, hoping that he would give in.

Aleks blushed more visibly "Just shut up would you, I can't stand your annoying voice" he hugged him tightly and closed his eyes "I don't care as long as you stop complaining, it's irritating" but the truth was that it wasn't. And it was also a lie that he didn't care. He wanted to be needed and to be the one to comfort him. He had always hated how Mathias was obsessed with Berwald when he could just have him instead. Sure he had left Mathias in the past but that was just to see if Mathias would come rushing after him, only to reclaim him. But it was always Sweden! Norway was just a great friend or the shoulder to cry on. Still it made him happy. All those stupid smiles, jokes and words till made him the happiest there could be.

Mathias cupped his chin and leaned closer "What would I do without you Nor?" he said with a soft voice as he wore a bright smile. Norway didn't have the time to answer that as Denmark had already captured and claimed his lips in a passionate kiss. And the thought about the Swedish country slowly faded away as Mathias slowly made Aleks even happier that he was there for him.

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><p>Mathias was lying in the sofa with Aleks on top of him when it all was over. Aleks had fallen asleep and was snoozing, nuzzled against Mathias chest. He looked adorable "You should look like this always…" the awaken one of the two stated.<p>

They stayed like that for hours. Denmark just didn't have the heart to wake him up or move too much. That was the least he could do for everything Aleks had done and always did. When he thought about it he realized that the one who had supported him since decades was Norway. Even when he left Denmark for a short period to be with Sweden he knew how Nor had regretted it even if he didn't say it out loud. Even if Mathias was somewhat thickheaded he still could read Aleks. He may not always show it but he always knew how he was feeling. Just like Aleks could read him.

When Aleks woke up and realized how much the clock actually was he jumped out from Mathias grasp "I have to do some shopping before the store close" he explained. Mathias, saddened by the fact that Norway already had to leave instantly sat up "I can keep you company if you want? I also got to do some shopping"

Aleks nodded and smiled slightly. That was good, then he didn't have to worry about Denmark not eating properly. The only thing that Danmark cared about was the fact that he could spend more time with Norway. And maybe he needed to get out in the fresh air?

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><p>Cliffhanger!<p>

Or something like that ^^'' I think it's time for you to get some real DenSu now ;3 but that's the only thing i will tell you right now


	5. Chapter 4

Norway drove the car to the supermarket. Even thought Denmark kept complaining about it. He should be the one who drives even if it's Aleks car. It was a mans' duty and pride, why couldn't he understand that "You should consider yourself lucky just to be able to sit in my car, there is no way in hell that I'm letting you drive" Aleks said. There was no point discussing it. This was a rule since Mathias once crashed one of Nors' older cars when he tried to style for him. It had been a disaster. Not only was the car beyond any possible future of ever being able to work again. Mathias himself had been hospitalized for about a week or two. The injuries wasn't worse than the once he used to receive back at the Viking age. Still it was bad enough to make Aleksander forbid him to drive his car ever again. And Denmark had to promise to be more carefully after that.

When they arrived at the supermarket Aleks parked the car and locked it while Mathias looked for a food cart. They met up at the entrance; Norway had planned ahead and picked up his list with what to buy. He sighed when he realized Denmark hadn't one with him "Don't tell me you don't know what to buy?" he asked as he took the lead into the store. Mathias followed him "Come on! I will figure something out while I'm walking" he laughed and took a food basket for himself to fill.

As they made each other company they slowly got what they needed. Aleksander helped Mathias to get some decent groceries. It was a lot of help since the dane still was kind of lost in his mind. When they passed a shelf he was sure he could see Berwald furthest away in the store, looking for something.

He froze on the spot. Was it really him? Here? Could it be true? Mathias didn't know how to react. It was the least he expected. His heart began to beat harder against his chest. What if he saw him? How would he react? Probably ignore him… or get angry. Mathias had no idea what was worse.

He was so angry with himself! Why had he kissed him back then? Everything would have been so much easier if he hadn't done it. They could act like they used to. Mathias would great him with a huge smile, a laugh and a hand on Berwalds shoulder, while Berwald would shrug him away and tell him he was annoying but still accept him for what he was.

Now he was defiantly disgusted with him. Mathias must look like a complete sexmaniac… And a complete familyruiner, Berwald had a "wife" and kid for crying out loud! He couldn't just kiss him and hope everything would return to what it used to be. Since Berwald left all those years, not even once had Berwald showed any kind of regret. Had the relationship they once shared only been one-sided?

Mathias swallowed hard. He had to see him up closer! Just to make sure it wasn't him. Then he would be satisfied. Then he would be sure that even his mind was fucked up, not just his life. But first he needed to shake of Aleks for the time being.

Mathias coughed and looked into his basket "Seems like I forgot to get some cheese! You go ahead, I will catch up to you later" he smiled at Aleks who just sighed and nodded "Okay, but be quick about it…" he said and walked towards the cashier.

Mathias took his chance and hurried carefully, closer to the blonde guy that could be the love of his life. With every step he was more certain and at the same time he got even more scared. What should he say or do? What Mathias could see was that Berwald was alone. That was good. He just couldn't stand to meet Tino right now. It would only make things worse.

Berwald was reading a note and searching for something on the shelf. Mathias could clearly make out that slim yet muscular body under the clothes. It looked just like it used to be. And under the clothes Denmark also knew that the bruises and marks that were left from their previous relationship still existed. Just thinking of them made him feel hot both inside and outside.

He sighed and shook his head. He didn't have time to dream about the past. He had to focus on now. He had to be a man, act just like the king of the Nordics should have done.

He took a step forward and laid his arm around Berwalds shoulder "Berwald! Shopping for the wife?" he used his brightest smile for the other. Wow, he looked even better up close. He was sure Sweden had bought new glasses. They resembled the old ones but there was no way Mathias would miss anything about his obsession.

Berwald shrugged him of and gave him an sour expression "Mathias… what are you doing here?" he muttered. The dane in front of him look ridiculous with that smile. He just hated it. Scratch that… he hated all of him. How he dressed, how he turned into a maniac over football. And also he could never stand how he could handle liquor; it was like he was immune. But on the other hand… he became even more annoying and troublesome when he finally got drunk.

He was also a terrible sleepyhead, he wouldn't wake up until in the middle of the day if you didn't shoved his lazy as out of the bed. At this, Berwald couldn't help but to smile a little on the inside. It could be kind of cute. And his touch… it was the worse.

The thought of Mathias touch made him remember what he had done not too long ago. He instantly got a little blush over his cheeks. Truth was that Denmark knew exactly where to touch him. He also knew which buttons to push to make him go crazy. He was a great lover to be honest, and everyday would be different.

"Berwald… Are you listening?" the voice of Mathias made Berwald glance up and realize that he hadn't listened to anything he had said. He had been way into his old memories "I'm sorry… what did you say?" truth be told, he wasn't really that angry with him anymore. Mathias was Mathias, but he made Berwalds' life to complicate.

Mathias placed a hand onto Berwalds' shoulder "As I was saying. We should hang out soon, just you and me. Maybe go to sport bar and have a beer or two. What do you think?" this was actually going really well. Berwald hadn't told him to go away or anything like that. Even if his mind seemed to be occupied with something. The dane could not help but to wonder what it was about.

Berwald sighed and looked away. It would be troublesome for certain. They might even fight at the end of the evening. But it could also be kind of fun. He hadn't been out in ages. A change of environment sounded fun. Tino wouldn't mind either "Sure… If you promise to behave" he added with a warning and a meaning eye.

Mathias just laughed and nodded "Of course I will! What do you take me for Sve?" He picked his favorite cheese from the shelf and put it in the basket "So… should we say now on Saturday?" he could barely wait that long.

Berwald nodded "Saturday is fine…" he found what he was looking for also "See you then at the usual bar?" he began to walk away.

Mathias nodded happily "Of course! Around seven, don't you dare be late!" he waved at him before he hurried back to a quite angry looking Norwegian. That had taken far longer than to just bring some cheese. Not that he said anything. That would be too troublesome. Also for some reason Mathias seemed to be in a good mood again, why bother destroying that right now?


	6. Chapter 5

Saturday arrived; Berwald had told Tino the day before that he would go out drinking with Mathias. And to no surprise he had been positive about the meeting. He was glad that his boyfriend could hang out with Mathias, since he sometimes thought that Berwald didn't socialize enough with people.

Berwald was in the middle of picking out clothes, he had no idea what to wear. He didn't want to make the expression that he had been looking forward to this. But also he didn't want Mathias to think that he didn't care at all. Formal… or more casual? Well, they were going to a bar so something in between should be good. He picked out a white shirt, a black tie and black pants. He knew that Mathias liked Berwald in white shirts, not that it mattered. He just wanted to avoid any rude remarks on how he was dressed. Really, nothing more.

He finally got ready, Tino was downstairs making something extra special for him and Sealand since Berwald would be out "I'm going now…" Berwald mumbled. Tino headed out to him in the hall and reached up to give him a sweet kiss "Have fun now, don't drink too much" he warned him. Berwald nodded and kissed Tino once more before he left.

He walked over to Berwald and Mathis favorite bar. They had the best drinks and atmosphere where both of them could enjoy themselves. Berwald ordered two beers and then got seated in one of the booths while waiting for the dane, who as usual was late. He took a zip of his beer.

After about half an hour Mathias stormed in into the bar "Bartender! Give me the usual!" he said loud with a wide grin on his face. Berwald waved to him "Mathias…" even thought he didn't shout Mathias was able to spot him and in an instant he had hurried over to the Swedish man. He took of his coat and revealed his dress code of the day. Berwald was relieved that they had gone for kind of the same theme, except that Mathias shirt was red, not white. But honestly Berwald thought that Mathias looked much better in red.

"Sorry I'm late" Mathias explained. He didn't tell him the reason thought. It would be kinda embarrassing and obvious to tell Berwald that Mathias spend all this time deciding what kind of clothes he should wear "I hope I didn't keep you waiting all to long" he smiled warm towards Berwald.

Berwald just shook his head "No worries, I kind of knew you would be late, I bought you one bear" he nodded towards it. The dane gladly accepted and took a good swing of it "Mhm, perfect! Just what I needed"

Berwald looked around, there wasn't that many there yet. That was good. He couldn't handle crowded bars unless he was affected by the alcohol. He drank of his own beer, it tasted great. Mathias also seemed pleased and Berwald had to admit that he was happy that he went.

They drank beer after beer, hours went by and they talked about life, about the past and present. Not so much about them and when they had been together, even if Mathias wanted to but didn't dare to in case Berwald would get angry.

It was finally and to Denmarks surprise Sweden who brought up the sensitive stuff "Mathias… be honest, why… why did you kiss me?" he slurred. He wanted to know. But at the same time he didn't dare to.

Mathias first blinked surprised. Had Berwald really asked him that? Was he still angry "Why...? Because I love you, I love you of course" he stated and moved closer to him. It didn't seem like Berwald was angry with him. So he gained some courage from that "Isn't it obvious that I do?"

Berwald looked away "Mathias, it… it was so many years ago" he couldn't believe that he still felt that way "I was horrible towards you back then. I'm cruel now, how can you still say that?" he just sighed and emptied another beer. He needed it now. This wasn't good. If only Mathias had said that he did it to piss Berwald of, now he had to do everything in his power not to let his well hidden feelings to bubble up.

Mathias caressed the glass of beer "Because…. It has to be you. Believe me, I… I have tried to forget you. But you are the only one I need" he mumbled and drank some more "I won't… do it again!" he reassured "I didn't mean to kiss you but…" Mathias fumbled with words and his hands. This felt so lame. Why did Berwald have to bring that up? Mathias just wanted to have fun… As friends. Now it kind of was ruined.

Berwald took a hold of his hand "Idiot… don't give me that face… I'll get a headache" he muttered and looked at him with tired eyes "I have a wife and a child…" he stated.

At this, Mathias got furious, he pulled his hand away "I know! Shut up, I don't want to hear anymore!" he drank up his last beer and stood up on wobbly legs "You… I don't want to hear anything more from you… You don't understand anything!"

Berwalds eyes widened in shock. What had made him lose his temper? "Mathias, calm down!" he got a hold of Mathias arm. But Mathias wasn't going to have any of that "I already told you I was sorry you asshole! What do you want from me!" there's was no one stopping Mathias when he got this drunk and angry. Berwald hadn't realized that he was in this state.

Panic started to reach the Swedish man. How was he supposed to calm him down? It had been so long since he last saw this side of him. Not since the union. In this pressed situation he needed to figure something out, before the bartender called the cops. He finally realized what always had worked. It really was a bad idea, considered what they recently had talked about. Berwald was sure he would feel like a hypocrite.

But there wasn't any more time now "Mathias…" he gently said and caressed his cheek while he leaned forward and kissed him gently "Look only at me…" he whispered. Oh, such memories that flooded thru Berwald right now. It was nostalgic, how Mathias looked at him now. Shocked, but also proud, like he was eyeing a precious treasure.

Mathias placed his hand over Berwalds "Berwald…" he whispered back and placed his forhead so it was touching Berwald "I…" he was interrupted as Berwald kissed him again "We'll talk on the way to your place…" he took both jackets and dragged the dane outside. It was too dangerous, kissing in the open like that.

Mathias hanged onto Berwald as they walked along the street "You kissed me… twice… twice" he stated with a happy smile. Berwald just sighed "It was the only way to calm you down" he stated "And I was going to tell you before… you had your outburst, that I still like you" it was hard to admit. But he felt like he owed Mathias as much "But… I just can't leave them like that. That's why I'm cold towards you"

Mathias listened. He was surprised that Berwald was so talk active. It had to be because he was trying to explain it so well. Then he realized that Berwald had told him that he still loved him "… But you left" he whispered.

Berwald sighed "Let's discuss this later you drunkard…" he didn't want to talk about that of all things right now. It was unnecessary, he was sure that Mathias would turn all mad again.

Mathias just focused on walking straight. Maybe all this hadn't been such a bad idea. He still was confused but Berwald had told him that he didn't hate him. And now they was walking towards his own home as friends "Okey…" he agreed as they turned left onto the street Mathias was living on.


End file.
